The Banana Peel Slip

It's a cornerstone prank of silent films.
It's the most annoying weapon in Mario Kart to both launch and run into.
It's been used in cartoons and even a memorable episode of Arrested Development.
Okay, all episodes of AD are memorable.
And okay, the most annoying weapon to be used against your character in Mario Kart is the lightning bolt that shrinks you, in the process inhibiting your speed to that of Koopa wading through maple syrup.

Speaking of wading through maple syrup, how delicious would that be if you also coincidentally had a plate (or multiple plates) of pancakes with you? The answer is it could be none more delicious.

Annnnyways, back to the beginning- I'm talking about the infamous, the classic, the always-entertaining slip on the banana peel.

Let's just get to the point- why does this not happen anymore?? Pies in the face are still pretty common, from elementary school fundraisers to Bill Gates and weddings (okay that's kind of stretch as it's not so much a prank), etc. Painting fake scenery on walls and having someone run into it even happens every once in awhile. I may have even seen an anvil fall on someone's head recently. And yes, the person did look and sound like an accordion as he was walking away. In fact, he somehow played the lead guitar riff from AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" within twelve steps of his unfortunate accident. That's heads-up.

But I have never, ever seen (or even have come close to seeing) someone slip on a banana peel. Yet it had to have happened at some point in time. Not only that, but it had to happen so many times, that it somehow became a well-known prank, enough so that it's now a part of mainstream culture and has been for at least 70(?) years. This to me is unbelievable.

If, at some point in my meaningless existence on earth (not that you would, but don't try to argue with me on the status of my meaninglessness, just look at what I'm doing with my free time), I would see someone actually slip on a banana peel and fall right onto their back with one leg straight up in the air, I would be able to die happy. Although, I've also said before that if I could ever find platform nine and three quarters I could also die happy. And I could also die happy if I was able to learn the drum parts for The Outfield's "Your Love" (yes, I'm going to try my best to reference that song and my endless...um...love...for it, as much as I can because if that song ever is forgotten, the world should probably not exist, or at least stop rotating for a day or two). Damn, I never realized there were so many ways to die happy.

In any case, I want to see the fabled "banana peel slip" just once in my life. Or see a real video of it happening to someone (the youtube ones are obvious setups and let me down). You fool me once youtube- shame on you. Fool me twice- shame on me. Fool me thrice- I suck at life. On second thought, f that whole video crap, it can only be in real life to totally satisfy me.

And yes, if I found a genie, this would be one of my wishes.


Final note: in reference to the last blog, I was in a parking lot this past weekend and saw an old beat-up El Camino, painted in flat black primer. On the back of it, in stenciled, spray-painted white letters, was the greatest pairing ever of words in the English language- "No Fear." It was truly a Palm Sunday miracle.