Molly Ringwald vs. Rachel Leigh Cook (conspiracy)

The Parties Involved and Coinciding Descriptions

1) Molly Ringwald

Movie of Note: Pretty in Pink

Appearing in seemingly every Eighties movie that dealt with teen angst, Ringwald probably in some way helped to spawn 90's suburbanite kids claiming to have problems just because it seemed cool. See: emo music and later on- the ever-present cookie cutter myspace kid. Thanks Moll. However, I do like her, despite the fact that she has red hair and wore a pink dress in the aforementioned smash hit. Granted, I understand the title and so on was already in the books, but honestly- every girl knows if you have red hair, you just don't wear a pink dress. Oh and thanks for helping the career of that guy who's not funny in "Two and Half Men." Not that the other one and a half men are any more knee-slapping, but still, that's 40% you could've done away with. At least you turned him down at the prom in the movie. On to Ms. Cook.

2) Rachel Leigh Cook

Movie : She's All That (or, the only one that people know her from)

The girl that made Sixpence None the Richer millions of dollars by walking down the stairs in that red dress. In the process, every guy from 1999 until- do i dare say forever?- has scoured and will scour past and present yearbook pages with more care than an Army private minesweeper in Iraq, looking for that one ugly duckling (awww...fairytales!!) who they can save from the wretched grasp of unpopularity and their inferior aesthetic exterior. Except the date came down the stairs and she was still the girl with the Marilyn Manson shirt and zombie blood lipstick (a real color according to Spencer's gift store) who still thinks fishnets are "in." And then we all had to face the facts- juggling a hackeysack is not that cool.

The Conspiracy:
Both girls are outcast, mid to lower society chicks. However, both are quite attractive. First off, this is already impossible in real life. I mean, c'mon, poor girls are never good looking, everyone knows that! Next. Both have rich, popular boys wanting to open them up to the world and show them that the cool kids really are nice. Although, between the lines, it's obvious the guys just wanted to gain their trust and then date-rape them. Look for it in the sequels. Next. Both of them have single parents- both dads. Both their dads talk to them like a little-bit-too-inquisitive therapist, the kind that go to jail after the F.B.I. seizes their computers. Therapist. Separate the two words within that one word. Exactly. Next. Both of them go to the prom with someone else- and then finally end up with their dreamy boys in the end. For this, I can't blame Rachel Leigh Cook, because let's be honest- Freddy Prinze, Jr. is dreamy. In addition, the memorable moment in both movies is seeing the girls in their prom dresses. Finally and somewhat depressingly, both movies were the actresses pinnacles.

Conclusion: Whoever wrote the script for "She's All That" pulled a Vanilla Ice and ripped off an eighties classic that everyone can still enjoy. Well, in Ice's case, on VH1 and weddings and the occasional Halloween party.

One last point: Both girls are now "Whatever Happened To" girls, stars who were popular at one point and have now fallen to the level where I could probably win them over by hitting a triple-twenty in a game of darts at a local bar. Which I like. Let's do this thing, Rachel Leigh.